Sell Phones

Anybody who is a fan of Seinfeld has inevitably seen the episode where the gang is in the coffee shop (Monks) and where Elaine, (who works for J. Peterman) announces "I am an an associate" and George says "Yeah, so am I" and the waitress walks by and says 'Yeah, me too." It seems nobody is an employee anymore, we're all associates. Walmart, one of the world's largest companies, doesn't have employees, either, they're all associates. Well, effective immediately, I am an associate of Radio Shack Corporation (Radio Shaq) as a sales associate. So after 3 years, 6 months and 14 days of this economy 'which is strong' according to Bush and Greenspan, I have finally re-joined the world of the living. One can only watch so many soap operas and eat so many bon-bons, since that's the way most conservatives view the unemployed. For the past two of the last three years, I wasn't even an official statistic, since unemplyment numbers are only counted as those who are 'currently' collecting unemployment benefits. Once they run out, if you are not 'unemployed' you must be 'employed'. This adds a rosier picture to the truth. But anyway...

It started innocently enough, having walked into the Radio Shaq which is in back of my house and I asked to fill out an application. "Go online" I was told. Most older people think you are not 'really' looking if you are not 'out pounding the pavement' and they have trouble accepting that computers are here to stay whether or not they (or I) like it. At the time, there were no current openings, but when I walked passed the store a few weeks later they had a 'now accepting applications' sign in the window. I was already a step ahead of the game, as I had already enrolled in their 'Open House' which is held on various Wednesdays, so I went and I was told it was for 'a sales position' and if you didn't like sales, you can leave now...

So, I figured if I was going to sell anything, it might as well be electronic equipment and at least I don't have to ask customers if they 'want fries with that'. If I was forced to work at McDonald's, I might as well move to Oregon, where they have an assisted suicide law. I took a 'test' which included questions are making the proper change. Don't laugh. One place I applied to was more interested in my 'welfare to work' status, my 'criminal history' and whether or not I could speak English, use 'machines' like a label gun and I must know 'numbers'. Thankfully, they didn't ask if I knew 'letters' too.

So, apparently, I did well on the test, got interviewed by two store managers (which is what I wanted, but they insist they only promote from within). Is the money good? No. I am taking a 95% drop from when companies encouraged capable people to apply. But, as they say, the more I sell, the more I make, so in theory, the sky's the limit.

So, I don't begin until the 28th, but I will be attending a Policy Meeting at the District Office and then a Sales Meeting before I begin. The emphasis will be on pushing cell phones (and they are dumping Verizon at the end of the year). I'll switch to Sprint (back to) if the company will cover the cost of breaking my 'bondage' to Verizon and take care of the cost of my 'rebondage' to Sprint.

So, I will be working in the Warren, (R.I.) store. Egad! Two state taxes to contend with. Boy, I miss Nevada, but that is the method to my madness. After working there for awhile, I can 'relocate' to any open position. Incline Village (Lake Tahoe) here I come. I have to keep this as a goal if I am to keep any semblance of enthusiasm. But I'll also consider Reno, Carson City and Las Vegas.

The store is at 601 Metacom Ave in Warren, so feel free to stop by for a visit after the 28th and buy a phone from me, And don't forget the carrying case, car adapter, get a new picture phone your at it. Christmas is coming and we also have electronic toys, microphones, health devices and oh, don't forget the batteries! They are usually not included.